The Dual Control Model of Desire
How your sexual response works
image: Jean Pierrot
The body's central nervous system has several stop-and-start mechanisms that help control biological responses to our environment; the dual control model being one of them.
To understand sexual response, we can observe the relationship between the sexual excitation system (SES) and sexual inhibition system (SIS).
The Sexual Excitation System (SES)
Imagine your sexual response has similar mechanisms to a car. The sexual excitation system is like an accelerator for sexual response.
When your brain receives information about stimuli in your environment that is sexually relevant; like seeing your partner in the shower, the scent or touch of someone, or even imagining these things; it sends signals to GO! ahead and pursue sexual pleasure.
The Sexual Inhibition System (SIS)
The sexual inhibition system (SIS) is the brake system, but much like a car there is a foot pedal brake, and a hand brake.
Your pedal brake notices the context of your environment and initiates a STOP! response for your sexual pleasure. This can include feared consequences of sex like pregnancy, STI’s or judgement. This break is helpful because it recognises ‘we’re in a job interview, now’s not the time!’
All day long your brain is interpreting your environment, contexts, people, and stimuli and sending Go! or Stop! Messages to inform whether arousal should happen.
The other brake in your SIS is like the handbrake you leave on. The car can move, but nowhere near as fast until the handbrake comes off. This is associated with things like performance anxiety, past trauma, or a lack of safety.
How does this impact sexual response?
The SIS/SES are traits that can guide us through better understanding our sexual response. And are somewhat stable over a lifetime, much like introversion/extraversion.
Some people have sensitive brakes (difficult to become aroused unless things are ‘just right’), and some have sensitive accelerators (arousal can happen easily, and sometimes inappropriately). We can conceptualise most sexual functioning as a balance between the brakes and accelerator.
A common misconception (especially for women) is that lowered desire is due to a problem with the accelerator. In fact, it’s whether we have taken our foot off the brake that matters most. You could have all the sexy context you need, but if the brakes are being activated, desire and arousal struggle to happen.
image: Prue Stent
Generally speaking, men are more likely to have a more sensitive accelerator, and women more sensitive brakes. However, there is a huge amount of variation within these populations.
For example, you could ask thousands of people how often they’d ideally like to have sex, and their answers will vary from never, to 6 times a day, and all of these are completely normal.
A big thing that influences the sensitivity of our accelerators and brakes is mood and anxiety. 10-20% of people note that their sexual interest increases when stressed or anxious. This indicates that your sexual response system with it’s Go! Or Stop! messages can interact differently with other motivational systems in the brain, particularly the stress response.
What is important to take away from this, is an understanding of your sexual response brakes and accelerators. That you have them, and they absolutely impact your experience of desire and arousal.
